Should I Teach My Son To Masturbate?

Should I teach my son to masturbate?

These are the types of questions not answered in the parenting books or talked about at the church men’s group. I am going to start talking about them here, I suppose no one reading my blog will be offended by such.

My son has hit that point where masturbation is an intriguing option for him. He is getting erections and having nocturnal emissions. The hormones and sexual desire have arrived in full for him.

For the first time this week I found him staring intently at the scene in Christmas Vacation where Nicolette Scorsese (I had to google that) is stripping her swimsuit in Clark’s dream about his pool. My boy was in a trance as he stared, hoping she’d emerge from the water and he’d catch a glimpse of breast, only to have the scene cut away just as the top of her breasts entered the screen.

Such disappointment. I remember watching that scene when I was about 13 thinking the same thing he was. My imagination would run wild.

I remember the first sexual sensations quite well, I had these powerful urges and feelings but little understanding of what they meant or what I should do about them. I was never taught what masturbation is nor if I should or should not do it. I found it naturally over many years of confusion. Now I find myself wondering:

Should I teach my son to masturbate?

He wakes up in the morning wondering what that strangely enjoyable sensation was that led to his underwear being wet. He finds himself trying to recreate it while simultaneously holding on to the innocence of his childhood.

I have watched him change dramatically in just a matter of weeks. His young mind can’t keep up with the body changes he’s experiencing.

Should I help him?

I have already explained to him that there is a time and place for that sort of activity. In his room, alone, is the only time he should be touching himself. That much he now understands.

But should I teach him more, I wonder? Should I give him instructions on clean up and discretion? Should I talk to him about the dangers of porn?

These are the things they don’t teach you in parenting books. The real life conversations and situations that matter a great deal to the confidence of a young boy.

My plan right now is to steer him as necessary, let him discover some things on his own, and correct him when it seems appropriate.

I think part of his youthful sexual growth is working through it on his own, I don’t want to demystify things too quickly for him, too much information too early can be detrimental. So long as he isn’t doing anything socially inappropriate, or spending hours in the shower, I think I will let him be for now.

2 thoughts on “Should I Teach My Son To Masturbate?

  1. These are tough issues. I can’t give you an answer because I don’t know your son the way you do, but I *do* think it’s good to discuss the dangers of porn.

    That said, by thinking seriously about these things you’re on the right path. Growing up is hard enough even with good guidance, but good guidance can make everything easier. Your son seems lucky that you care about these things. Think about how many fathers don’t care at all.

    Liked by 1 person

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